Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Even Good Things Can Go Squirrely

Well, it was only a matter of time, wasn’t it?

As more and more people scramble to the Internet to seek their fortune, it’s an easy step to allow the Net to interfere with the affairs of the heart and home.

Lately, I have heard several variations of the same theme from more than a few people. Initially, I pooh-poohed the “criticisms” thinking “Aw, come on; lighten up a little” thinking maybe some were making a bigger deal out of an innocent preoccupation.

As the “rumblings” became more frequent, further examination of this new, somewhat fractious phenomena seemed called for. There was some validity to the “arguments” because guess what’s happening?

We’ve stumbled onto a whole new way of being in the middle of a love affair without ever leaving home or writing a “Dear John” letter!

Computers and The Net are wily masters at wedging themselves between people in terms of talking to and spending time with one another.

These rendevous are just as compelling and the results can be just as tricky. Sneakily, they bloom and create the same breakdowns in household communication as any other clandestine involvement.

The truth is, it IS possible to get a little carried away by our noble cyber efforts. Many times, we don’t even recognize what’s going on.

Allow me to present this hypothetic end-of-day scenario and ask if any of it sounds vaguely familiar.

Spouse arrives home after a long day at the office only to find Mate once again totally absorbed in front of the computer. Spouse goes to greet Mate with a hug.

Momentarily startled, Mate looks up. “Hi, Honey. I’m so glad you’re home, but I can’t talk right now.”

“Oh, don’t look like that. I know, I know. You think I spend too much time on the computer. But I don’t. You’re just feeling a little neglected, like when we bought the baby home.”

“Remember? You thought all my energies were spent on the baby? You silly goose. I was only trying to get her to be able to feed herself at four months.”

“Hey, didn’t the pediatrician say her development seemed accelerated? I was only trying to encourage the process. It had nothing to do with cutting into my computer time. Honest.”

“What’d ya say? Where’s your dinner? Remember how you said you needed to lose a little weight? Early this afternoon I wondered what I could fix to help you out.”

“Wouldn’t you know I got these emails that demanded immediate attention. Then the phone starts ringing. Before I knew it, here you are asking me where’s your dinner.”

“What’s with that expression? Oops, hold the phone, sweetheart. Another Instant Messenger is coming through. Not to worry. I’ll get rid of it real quick and then we’ll talk.”

“Oh, by the way, I made another couple of sales today, and I signed up some new folks. Of course, I had to respond to them but now I’m bushed. Think we can call out for pizza? It’s a jungle out there in cyber-world.”

“What’s the matter now? You know how much you love their special, ‘The Works’. How am I sabotaging your diet? Just eat the vegetables!”

“What was that? You certainly DID NOT see more of me when I worked in the real world. Excuse me for a moment, honey. I’m almost finished building this new website. You’re gonna love it; I even dedicated a page to you.”

“I’m sorry. Huh? Oh, yeah, the car. I promised to have it cleaned today, didn’t I? You are NEVER going to believe this. After I turned off the computer and grabbed my car keys, guess what happened? I got this killer brainstorm. You know how it is; use it or lose it. Had to hurry and get those thoughts down.”

“Come on, sweetie, smile! Think “Gone With The Wind. Tomorrow’s another day and the car wash will still be there.”

“Hey, what’s in that envelope you’re holding so tight? Oh, no!!! You bought those theater tickets I’ve been dying for? You are positively the BEST, bar none!”

“Say what, hon? You want me to take a look at them? Sure! Just give me an hour or so. If I don’t back up these files, we’re in a pile of trouble.”

“Oh, No! I almost forgot! One of those phone calls I got earlier was from your mother. She’s locked out and needs you to come right over with the extra set of house keys.”

End of story. Recognize anyone you know?

Computers and The Net can be very provocative. It’s up to us to remain cognizant that there was a life before them. We’d best not take the risk of it not being there after we back up that last file.

Instant Messenger does not a companion make.

We need another TV court show like a hole in the head. But I can see one coming. “Tekky-Marital-Discord Court” presided over by Judge I. Messenger of the Superior Court of Cyber Confusion.

Author, Sam Knight heads an Affordable Ad Writing Service, “The Write Place”, is editor/publisher of “BOOMER BRIGADE!” Newsletter, and partners with a company that offers Low-Cost Quality Computer Systems with a no credit check/no interest accrual Lay-a-way Plan

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