We didn’t verify if Google really has a history of $20,000-$30,000 holiday bonuses for employees. Regardless of past amounts, Googlers are getting Google phone instead this year. There is, after all, an economic crisis going on.
It could be worse. Employees at a certain other search engine got pink slips. Still, one imagines it’s a hard come-down from being so pampered.
Part of the memo, courtesy of Christmas Vacation:
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like [Insert Billionaire Google Executive Here], my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there [in Mountain View] with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
Happy Holidays everybody.
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