Week's Top Searches Hit Rock Bottom

So the past week of memetic searches ain't all that exciting; it's down right vanilla: political self-congratulatory lollapalooza-esque barny-fied elitism, in a vanilla nutshell. We'll call it an accounting of what's on the mind of the search world, and expect an up-tick in excitement when Paris Hilton takes it over next week, once more of the world learns of her latest indecent lapse of judgment. Until then, we make up words to codify and capture what's going on right now just so we can avoid a yawn that knocks us off of our computer chairs. Google released its weekly list of top search gainers, Zeitgeist, and if you're like me (read: arrogant and snotty enough to be disgusted at pursuits not of a particular, pedantic and subject vein), you won't like it one bit. So, to spare us some boredom, we'll review the list and ever-so-pretentiously suggest what the collective should be focusing on. Because, you know, the collective can't be trustedthey Google.com Top Gainers For the Week Ending January 27 1. Hillary Clinton: Because right now we'll nominated Marky Mark for best supporting actor, we hereby revoke their license to pat themselves on the back. Nowhere on the list of nominees is the real best movie of the year: Coachella: The Lollapalooza for Generation Xbox. 5. Indianapolis Colts: Finally, Peyton. All I got to say is, "don't choke." And Tim Couch called, he wants his career back. 6. State of the Union: testy 7. Frilled shark: If there were ever a case for extinction, Ron Carey: You know him as Barney, he was a TV cop. No, the other one. 10. Australian Open: